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BleedingRomantic

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Something More Than Words [Jan. 25th, 2013|02:16 am]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |"Save Yourself" by Sense Field]



And sometimes the inspiration comes from the shadows in the heart and the cherry blossoms upon the bed..


"Something More Than Words"

There's a shadow in my doorway
An echo within my heart
It sings a sweet and soulful melody
That reminds me of the days
When I was your everything
As everything was always
And always was falling apart

The road that lines our fabled past
Leads to such a powerful
And intensely painful
Bliss that only you and I
Will ever understand
While written words
Oh, our precious scripted friends
They never shall do us justice, no
As words are beyond its grasp

So too are you for me
An exotic feather falling gently
To the plush, rolling grass
With a slight gust you loop
Almost playfully
And so very teasingly
Just beyond my worn
Desperate hands

Winter was always my weakness
Her hands so soft, so delicate
Chilled to the very touch
Which only made me long to hold them
With so much more than heat's intent
Gently rubbing the warmth into
Those slender fingers
That can untie me as easily
As that sexy, crooked smile
Bound me at every glance

Oh, I long to experience this season
Embracing the silky tendrils
Those precious few wisps of forest green
Amongst honeycombed strands of pulling hair
Dragging nails of amber and pleasure
Across the snow-covered floor
We would mistake for a bed
And explore every snowflake fallen
Until we are impossible to distinguish
From the words we pen in our hearts
Placed on papers devoted to yes
As if somehow these sonnets
These pages might convey
Might somehow give us these days
As we had everyday
It was the nights we never once
Were allowed to kiss

Winter is my favored lover
A figure and an illustration
Something more than words
More than life and love
As permanent as death
It is a special kind of desire
A white-hot wrought iron yearning
That rumbles with every
Haggard and desperate
Fingertips dragging across rib-cage
Kind of gasping breath

© Brian Milici
December 18, 2012

May you always find your smile.
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The End [Dec. 6th, 2012|03:45 am]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |creativecreative]
[music |"Falling Apart" by Better Than Ezra]



And sometimes the inspiration comes from the loss you feel still within you, in the eyes of loves you always have with you, yet never really had..


"The End"

There's shadows in our hallway
The world won't settle down
My heart keeps pounding
That same familiar sound
You were all I ever wanted
My very own fortune true
A soldier with such devotion
I just wish your heart still wanted
What you knew mine wanted too

There's a rip in the ocean
And a loss within your voice
Just a week before this last
It held me with stability
Such a soothing, charming noise
Why can't you find the courage
Some simple and forward truth
Grant me something besides anguish
Whenever I hear this new hollow you

Tonight the moon hides behind clouds
Just as you have with every excuse
There's a storm swirling overhead
Winds tearing down the buildings
Homes gone leaving just a fence
The land lays abused and vacant
Matching the stare you now dispense
Whenever you find time to pity me
And pretend we will stay something
As if we were ever even friends

If only there were pages
If only life were actually a book
I could find the earmarked corners
Of every dedication I stained for you
Scrawled across too many chapters
Headlined with thoughtfulness
That quickly somehow dissolves
Into a poorly constructed mess
If only there were pages
If only life were actually a book
I could find the earmarked corners
Of every page of my life I gave to you
I would tear out the anger
Burn the suffering away
I would find a way to leave only
The best of memories
As I pen our story
Granting me closure with
A far better The End

© Brian Milici
December 6, 2012


I kind of miss the days when I was around here more. So many things change. I hope Christmas is an exciting one for everyone. Too much damage this year for so many by just nature.. let alone our fellow man. Best wishes! I really have been blessed.


May you always find your smile.
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Version 1 [Dec. 6th, 2012|03:44 am]
BleedingRomantic
There's shadows in our hallway
The world won't settle down
My heart keeps pounding
That same familiar sound
You were all I ever wanted
My very own fortune true
A soldier with such devotion
I just wish your heart wanted
What you knew mine wanted too

There's a rip in the ocean
And a loss within your voice
Just a week before this last
It held me with stability
In its soothing, charming grasp
Why can't you find the courage
Some simple and forward truth
Grant me something besides anguish
Whenever I hear this new hollow you

Tonight the moon hides behind clouds
Just as you have with every excuse
There's a storm swirling overhead
Winds tearing down the buildings
Homes gone that once sat sturdy
Replaced with a ravaged, vacant land
Matching the stare you now offer
Whenever you find time to pity me
And pretend we will stay something
As if we were ever even friends

If only there were pages
If only life were actually a book
I could find the earmarked corners
Of every dedication I stained for you
Scrawled across too many chapters
Headlined with thoughtfulness
That quickly somehow dissolves
Into a poorly constructed mess
If only there were pages
If only life were actually a book
I could find the earmarked corners
Of every page of my life I gave to you
I would tear out the anger
Burn the suffering away
I would find a way to leave only
The best of memories
As I pen our story
A better </i>The End</i>
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Persuasion and Pain [Nov. 28th, 2012|12:06 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |bouncybouncy]
[music |I has kittens]



And sometimes the inspiration comes from nothing but struggling to make some sense of something you can't explain..


"Persuasion and Pain"

The supple flesh of your thighs
Your back bare to the world
As I once found your soul to me
Rhythmic and comforting I watch
As your chest rises and falls
With every soft breath you take
And somewhere in this land
Of hardened hearts and
Frequently weak encounters
We share another part
Of our individual
Horror stories
With someone who just might
Never quite be the one
To hold you
For forever
Yet just the same may well be
The only one whose hand
You can safely hold
And find some stem of comfort
A sense of understanding
Of knowing what it means
To face the mirror
To face the truth
To truly be brave
In a world too full of colored words
Misplaced phrases
And painted on faces
Where lies are really a skill
And life is bubbling with artists
Plying their practiced trade
Persuasion and pain

No, I lay here naked in the moonlight
Next to your rarely resting body
I watch your chest rise and fall
As the emotions have done within me
In a manner so significant
Yet just the same
Hoping once to have you know
Each and every scar
That adorns my mind, body, and heart
Now I just hope you might wake
And care less about these marks
Rather instead focus upon
The man they have made

© Brian Milici
November 28, 2012


May you always find your smile.
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Autumn Decay [Oct. 22nd, 2012|10:34 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |Royal Teeth "Wild"]



And sometimes the inspiration comes from the cycle of life and love.. and too much pain..


"Autumn Decay"

Where does the silence of tomorrow
Meet with the frailty that is this day
When a flower so far from bloom
Defiantly blossoms in this stone garden
That is the cracked pavement of a world
That wilts all around her
In a slow and steady
Autumn decay

Where does that ever magical
Precious petal find herself
So much more than the word beautiful
And yet so much less than
The foreboding season's change
Blue skies give way to colder tones
With a sinister chill's edge
Flush with cloudy Winter skies
Hazy charcoal gray

Stand and count yourself
Dearest Summer blossom
Find your heart warmed
In the cauldron of love
That stirs within fading embers
Buried ever deep within
Your hardened cave
That chest that heaves
With each painful moment
Every breath of rejection
Betrayal was his name
Coursing now within your
Shattered confidence
That what little wind blows
You still starve for rain

Tears litter your sunbaked roots
Yet they dry just as quickly
As they form and fall
Down your sweet, slender face
If I could rewrite your story
The seeds I would foster
Would be with stellar water
Raindrops. Falling.
Desperate. Reeling.
Hoping. Haunting.
Agonizing. Healing.
Within the natural course of
The cycle of love and life
One more fruitless endeavor
Of the sacred heart
Shared with another
Truly unworthy
Placed properly and fully
In its rightful grave

© Brian Milici
October 22, 2012


My prayers and my heart are with you now and for always.


May you always find your smile.
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The Compass of Her [Sep. 12th, 2012|02:41 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

And sometimes the inspiration comes from having everything within your grasp only to realize that everything can mean so much less than other everythings we once had..


"The Compass of Her"

She lays in the languid moonlight
Where stars once were her eyes
Brilliantly shining
Purposely inviting
Then they were a beacon
Guiding his wayward lost soul
Home to her waiting arms
Each and every
Godforsaken night

Yet now I find her more a fragment
Some beautiful sculpture
Amidst cloud cover
Not quite perfect
Not truly refined
The mold of an angel
Fallen in some stark
Marbled sadness
So solemn and alone
Betrayed by light
That the compass of her
And his wandering heart
No longer communicate
Left to their own devices
Never to collide

© Brian Milici
September 12, 2012


You never know what is next. Only what is in the past.

And even then I suppose we only know that which we see and what we are led to believe. A world of circumstance and assuredly tough times where we must try to find the obscure road that is our own. Our path.


May you always find your smile.
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Staring Down Goodbye [Sep. 6th, 2012|02:40 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

And sometimes the inspiration comes from one emotion sparked by the image on a screen, and I wrote this in my mind weeping openly at another instance of goodbye...


"Staring Down Goodbye"

I never want to say hello to tomorrow
Because that's staring down goodbye
I'm not afraid to embrace
Some truly awful pains
But I'm a frightened child
When I think of you
And how we never said goodbye

How do you handle not seeing
And hearing her breathing
Someone you loved with truth
And a noble purity
Whose small frame belied
How strong she was
Just to survive

How do you handle not seeing
And hearing her whispering
So many times you were the one
The only one that I'd confide
Yet now you are lost to everyone
And I'm just so lost
Without you now
As I was when I would turn to you
And you held me as I cried

How do you handle not seeing
Her fighting for clean breathing
When the world I crafted
And the actuality of hard life
Would tragically collide
You are a shattering of starlight
A raven with the wisest of eyes
My guardian for forever
An angel with the softest sighs
And the strongest lungs
I would give anything
Just to say hello to tomorrow
If it meant I got a chance to say
Just one chance to say
I love you
And goodbye

© Brian Milici
September 6, 2012


Sorry I'm never around.. life doesn't seem to offer much respite. Isaac was pretty awful down here. My friends were without power almost a week. We were without it three days. Disaster food stamps I'll be trying to get tomorrow and possibly Saturday as well for my mom. Things are great for the most part though. Shayla is the best, no worries there, sometimes I write just to feel connected still to myself. I miss this place more for the people than anything else. I need more time.


May you always find your smile.
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Unwrittenn Upon [Aug. 20th, 2012|02:39 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amidst the fading starlight]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

And sometimes the inspiration comes from when your soul is exposed and you are all too vulnerable to the world and you can't cope with the hell..


"Unwritten Upon"

Lost in these tangled moments
Where the solitude of a sleepy night
Is steadfastly my friend
I reflect upon the avenue that is
The tattered strands of your hair
So bright in memory
Yet so far distant
And removed
I sit and stare

There is only a simple mattress
And the quiet hum and chirp
Of my constant and prolonged
Machine misery
That keeps me anchored
In this awful here
And unforgiving now

Where are your words
Your heart
That has fed me energy
Kept me alive
Kept me willing
Where can I find you
As I am so lost
So bitter
In this land of words
And countless shells
Hollow as my heart
Since we last shared
Something pure
Something joyful
Something other than
Torn out pages
From the book
We thought would last
Forever
Our book for all ages
One last page remains
Blank as your stare
Unwritten upon
Bare and beautiful
Leaving hope
A precious chance
One I never dared

© Brian Milici
August 20, 2012


May you always find your smile.
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My Fear of Life [Jun. 27th, 2012|05:39 pm]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amid the fading starlights..]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |"Blown Away" by Carrie Underwood]



And sometimes the inspiration comes not from what you are thinking, but rather what you are feeling when you close your eyes and dare look deep inside..


"My Fear of Life"

She smells of white lilac
In the coarse heat of July
The windows are drawn open
With curtains like oceans
Corded steely blue
As I sail away constantly
With her in my arms
In my thoughts
In my mind

Her hands are worn nervous
Wintergreen candles burning low
Burning bright
Set atop the table she sits across
An expanse as broad as the smile
That I would flash her
If only getting closer
Were not a veritable mountain
That I must climb

My fear of life
Is that of heights
And were I to open
The worry would not be
Could I hold you
For that moment
Or the very next
Rather how can I
For always
Steal from a bird
The joy of flight

Here and now
I dance to you always
Holding my chest
Oh so close to your own
As pressed together
I feel the beating
Two souls apart
With tandem hearts
In a lover's grove
So close to right
Where wings are eternal
And there exists not
The fear of falling
When you dare soar
Two souls apart
One heart in flight

© Brian Milici
June 27, 2012


Finally I write something.. Not much time these days. I hope everyone is doing well. :)


May you always find your smile.
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I Never Thought I Could [May. 6th, 2012|01:20 am]
BleedingRomantic
[Current Location |Amid the fading starlights..]
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |"I Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem feat. Rihanna]



And sometimes the inspiration comes from the fury that is emotion uninvited..


"I Never Thought I Could"

I never thought I could hold you
Control you
Burn into your heart
All this passion
So much pure and raw emotion
Which consumes absolute
My very own

I never thought I could keep you
Sleep with you
Place your mind at ease
Feel you curl into me
In a restful manner
That which so has eluded me
All my life

I never thought I could see you
Breathe in you
Holding your face ever gently
With ink-covered fingers
Stained so deeply with
The hopes of a shattered morrow
Upon the rocky shore that is
Our mistimed hearts

Instead the words that form
At these worn tips
Finger a darker moon
Cast against a sky candied red
From the violence that begets
Your bruised silence
Oh, portent of promise!
Won't you find a way
That makes us forget this day
And bottle up my rage
Won't you lock it away
So deep inside
Undo these chains
And rewind time



© Brian Milici
May 5, 2012


I appreciate everyone's thoughts and support. It actually meant quite a lot to me. I'm going to probably update more regularly once we're able to close on a house, move into that house, and start my life. Until then..


May you always find your smile.
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